


Loving You (Must Be Like Suicide)

by Saiyangirl692



Series: Jackass [1]
Category: Archer (Cartoon)
Genre: Dubious Consent, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-11-19 05:26:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18131546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saiyangirl692/pseuds/Saiyangirl692
Summary: He is lost on the line between hate and love.





	Loving You (Must Be Like Suicide)

**Loving You (Must Be Like Suicide)**

 

Sterling Archer/Barry Dylan:

“He is lost on the line between hate and love.”

 

-

 

The velveteen blankets are soft against his bared skin. He is enveloped in the fuzzy feel that bourbon has left behind and the haze of smoke from Barry's cigarette. He can barely remember how it all started, but he can recall the copper taste of Barry's kiss and the feel of strong fingers tugging on his hair. He scrunches his face in annoyance and raises a hand to smooth his hair back down and the frown only deepens with the rumble of Barry's laugh.

“I still hate you,” he mumbles, though his voice is lacking its usual venom, “And when I figure out a way to kill you-”

“Yeah, okay sweetheart,” there's a glint of humor in steel blue eyes, “But for now why don't we just enjoy the moment?”

He carelessly flicks his cigarette across the room and, before Sterling can complain about his damned wool carpet, leans over and presses their lips together.

 

-

 

He's late. Again. He steps into the waiting elevator, washes down two Advil with the whiskey from his flask, and braces himself to face his mother.

“Wow! You look like shit!” Pam's voice shoots like lightning through his skull the second the elevator doors open.

“Duh!” Cheryl puts in, without bothering to look up from her nails, “He's been on a weekend bender!”

She leaves the _again_ left unsaid, and Sterling has no notion to correct her. Instead, he brushes past the front desk and makes his way to mother's office.

She chews him out while Lana watches smugly from the sidelines. He has learned to zone her out, and catches only snippets from the tirade.

_Late. Always late!_

_Failed the mission. Again!_

_Lana should be lead!_

He already knew. He couldn't find it in himself to care.

_What is it with you and Barry fucking Dylan?_

He'd been asking himself the same thing for months, and had yet to find the answer.

 

-

 

Barry is standing in his kitchen like he owns the place when Sterling finally gets home.

“Where's Woodhouse?”

The first question on his mind spills out, though he dreads to hear the answer.

“Alive, the last I looked,” Barry shrugs, “I think it might be time for an intervention,”

He feels himself sag in relief. A heroin high is not ideal, but its a sight better than any of the alternatives that had gone racing through his brain – Katya's mangled body and that apartment up in flames.

Barry spreads his arms in invitation, and Sterling thinks he should punch the smirk off that smug face, but instead he steps forward and lets himself fall into the embrace. Immediately, Barry's lips are on his neck and his hands are roaming across the curve of his ass. Sterling thinks he should pull away, but instead he leans further into the cyborg's warmth.

-

 

He is sick in the shower. It burns on the way up, and he hacks a brown mixture of whiskey and bile into the drain. His head is heavy and his stomach churns. He can't stop thinking about Barry. That's nothing new – he'd spent years imagining all the things he would do to him, from punching his face to mush to watching his skin melt – but now all he can think of is the curve of his full lips and the muscles in his chest.

He retches again.

 

-

 

He is on a mission when he meets Barry again. They are locked in battle, though Sterling can't quite be sure that he even wants to win. A hard fist connects with his nose, and he can taste copper at the back of his throat. He tries to answer with a punch of his own, but Barry captures his wrist with bruising force and pulls him in for a kiss.

He fights at first, but soon surrenders to the tongue forcing its way into his mouth.

“Archer!” Lana's voice reaches his ears and he fights with new ferocity.

Barry releases him with a yell when Sterling bites down on his tongue hard enough to draw blood, and the agent staggers back. His gun is in his hand and he's fired three bullets before he's even realized it.

The shattering of glass isn't ideal for his tinnitus, but there is a beauty in the way Barry falls, his hair glowing golden between twinkling shards of what was once a window pane.

He knows he is alive. The son of a bitch has survived worse before.

 

-

 

“It was sexual assault!” Lana insists later, “You should talk to someone. Talk to me!”

But Sterling could never tell her that he _wanted -_ no _needed -_ that kiss just as much.

“Dylan's a fucking psycho,” he replies between swigs of bourbon, “It's just one of his mind games,”

He can't tell her that he's playing his part well.

“I'll survive a kiss!” he insists when she raises an eyebrow, “It was nothing. Really!”

He can't tell her that those kisses are becoming everything to him.

 

-

 

It's the first time he has sought Barry out on his own.

He finds him in a run-down bar downtown, sitting at the bar and nursing a measure of scotch. Wordlessly, he sits beside him and hails the bartender for the same.

“Looking for me sweetheart?”

There's always humor in his voice. Always a glint in his eye. Always a smirk on those lips.

Sterling doesn't give him an answer, beyond grabbing him by the collar and planting a kiss on him.

If this is a game, he's sure as hell going to win.

 

-

 

He doesn't realize that he has already lost.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Title based on the opening lines of Green Day's "Jackass".
> 
> This work turned out to be a lot darker than I first intended, but I'm still happy with the final result.


End file.
